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My Word for 2020 – And

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I wasn’t sure I was going to choose a word for this year. I was in a conversation at church a couple of weeks ago and a dear friend of mine helped me to identify a word that would encapsulate my intentions for the year to come. She said her word for the year is “and.” It resonated with me, and I’ve decided to adopt it as well. We are each approaching this word differently, but with equal passion, dedication, and integrity. I have a feeling 2020 might be a bit of a wild ride!

My word for 2019 was generosity. It definitely motivated me to live with an open hand and open heart, especially when I wanted to shrink back, circle the wagons, and live in fear instead of faith. I plan on keeping generosity in my back pocket moving forward. It gave me a sense of freedom that can only come from a posture of giving. 

So, why did I choose “and” as my word for 2020? It’s actually an extension of generosity. My heart still wants to say “yes.” Whereas in 2019 I wanted to say yes to opportunities that required a contribution, this year I want to say yes to opportunities of increase. For my friend, “and” is a shift from an either/or perspective to a both/and orientation. She is choosing to inhabit the liminal space of the seemingly opposite. It’s tough, it’s brave, and it’s the gateway to expansive growth. (Grace and peace to you, Kim!) For me, embracing “and” also means a shift of perspective from “this OR that” to “this AND that.” This will be a stretch fo me. I am a minimalist by nature. Less is more. My default filter is “if this, then that = No.” Last year, generosity opened my heart externally; “and” will work on my heart internally. Letting go always seems easier than embracing. As I mentioned above, this year could get interesting! In fact, I’m counting on it!

Trust in the Lord and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
Take delight in the Lord,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the Lord;
trust in him and he will do this:
He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn,
your vindication like the noonday sun.
Be still before the Lord
and wait patiently for him;

Psalms 37:3-7 (NIV)

Generosity, My Word for 2019

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Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.

2 Corinthians 9:7 (NIV)

Ok. It’s January 8, 2019. I know I’m late to the dance with this, but I’m stepping out with my word for the year.

Generosity.

If there has ever been a spiritual practice that I’ve been more challenged with, it is definitely generosity. I believe in it, because I’ve been the beneficiary of so many others generosity toward me. So why do I have such a difficult time with being generous? I don’t know. And that is the first half of the two-fold purpose for making this my word/work of the year. I know that by intentionally practicing generosity, all sorts of stuff will come up with it. And that’s the point. I hope to unearth the root of stinginess so that I can replace it with a root of open hearted, open handed giving. So, as we go along this year, I hope to drop a note here or there on this blog about the discoveries I’ve made through the practice of generosity.

The second half of my purpose is simply to become more generous. At the top of this post I quoted 2 Corinthians 9:7, emphasizing on “God loves a cheerful giver.” I know that God loves me whether I give or not. That’s not the issue. When I read that phrase, the message I get is that “God’s love is most genuinely expressed through generosity.” And to take it a bit further, God’s Spirit within us rejoices when we are the recipient of open hearted, open handed giving. This joy begets joy in the giver. This is why the Apostle Paul quotes Jesus, saying, “It is more blessed to give than to receive,” (Acts 20:35) and Saint Francis instructs us through his prayer, “It is in giving that we receive.” My hope this year is to discover the joy of giving, to enter into the reciprocal dance of joyous generosity, and to express God’s love to those around me through open hearted, open handed giving.

What will this look like in real life this year? For starters, I will keep it simple. Opening doors for others, offering smiles to those around me and even passers-by, to carry a little bit of cash to give anyone who asks, and so on. I hope to put into practice more sophisticated ways of giving as I get a handle on this. It is going to be a hard won process. I did a little experimenting with this toward the end of 2018 and found out that it can be really fun. So that’s the groove I’m dancing with into this new year.

So for me, 2019 will be a year of practicing generosity.
Thanks for reading.

Grace and peace,
Brook

The Way Up Is Down, Part 5: Doing the Work

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The way through is down.

I really struggled writing this installment in The Way Up Is Down series. The fact is that I am IN the process of “through.” It’s also true that I’m scared as hell doing the “downward” work, yet…

To get through, we must go deep.

We all can get through, but unless we go deep and address the issues that we are facing as we go through, we’ll be back here again before too long.

When I first posted this thought experiment on Instagram back in January, a friend of mine commented, “the enemy’s gate is down…” Immediately I began to debate in my mind the meaning of down in his comment, directionally down or functionally down. Of course, it is directionally down. But you can’t take down your enemy’s gate unless you go down to do it.

My next question was, “Who is my enemy?” I knew the answer to that right away. Me! I am my enemy. To overcome your enemy, you must know what makes him tick. That means I must discover and take responsibility for the actions and decisions that got me here.

“A lot of people…have a problem being true to they self. They have a problem looking into the mirror and looking directly into their own souls. The reason I can…walk around, the reason I am who I am today is because I can look directly into my face and find my soul.”
— Tupac Shakur

If I can “look into my face and find my soul,” then I will no longer be my own enemy. This takes courage. This is deep work. I may not like what I find, but unless I do the work, I will only be getting by instead of going through.

There is so much more to say, and I’ve left out a lot, but I will finish with this. Though this is personal work, it’s not solitary work. I have sought the help of friends and professionals to do this downward work. In a way, this is another aspect of going down, because it forces us to embrace humility. It’s allowing others to see our shadow side, trusting they won’t reject us, and taking their hand as they help us up.

“Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”
Matthew 5:3 (NIV)

This is the hope of all of this. That we would find our way up. That we would rise with a new appreciation for life, love, and community, with our feet firmly grounded and our hearts centered in these realities.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
— Serenity Prayer

Grace and peace,
Brook

The Way Up Is Down, Part 4: Seeing It Through

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The way out is through.

For Lent this year, I chose to do the Whole 30 eating plan. I wasn’t feeling well in the area of digestion. I never felt hungry, always a bit bloated, and quite lethargic. I knew something had to change in the way I was eating. The Whole 30 isn’t a diet, per se, rather a gastric reset. The goal isn’t weight loss, but digestive health. The Whole 30 prescribes eliminating all processed foods, added sugars, grains, dairy, legumes, and alcohol. It wasn’t easy, but with the program being time bounded, 30 days, it was doable. I made it.

Even though I saw the program through, I don’t feel that I made much progress. There was more to the process than I anticipated. I think this may be true with anything we do to bring about change in our life. We start the process by implementing a program. We reach the end of the program, expecting to be done with the process, only to find out that the program was only the beginning of the process.

Programs reveal, empower, and relieve. They show us what needs to change and give us tools to make changes, which provide a sense of relief. If we are honest with ourselves, though, this is only scratching the surface of a much larger, longer, and deeper process of change.

I know that I need to revisit the Whole 30. I also know that there are a few other programs that I need to revisit in order to continue processes I previously started. This begs the question. Will I ever be done? Will there be an end to the process? I feel the answer is yes and no.

Yes. Most processes will come to an end. The process will have done its work. You will emerge in a better place, state, stage, etc. Even though the active work of the process will be done, you will continue to carry the work of the process. It will be assimilated into your life and will inform how you live your life. The work won’t feel like work, because it will just be life.

No. We will never not be in some sort of process. Life is full of destinations and arrivals. Finally arriving, in which we will never need to be in process, is not for this life. Sanctification, enlightenment, or whatever you choose to describe this arrival, has within it a recognition of incompleteness. Our completeness is found when we realize that we are a part of a larger whole. We are incomplete, and yet we make whole that which is incomplete without us. These little arrivals empower us to continue on in the process of living this life and even encourage others to begin their own process.

The way out is through.

“Are you asking one another what I meant when I said, ‘In a little while you will see me no more, and then after a little while you will see me?’ Very truly I tell you, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy.”
John 16:19-20 (NIV)

Seeing a process through can be very difficult. From the passage above, Jesus said you will weep and mourn. It will seem like you are the only one going through your process. It will feel like others are rejoicing. They’re not. Their life will just look different than yours. There will come a time when the process will come to an end. Your grief will turn to joy.

The way out is through.

Grace and peace,
Brook

semicolon tattoo

I got this tattoo for my 45th birthday. It reminds me to stay engaged in my processes. When people ask me what it means, my short answer is, “My story is not finished.”

The Way Up Is Down, Part 3: Enacting Change

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This post is a continuation of a series I started earlier this year.
The Way Up Is Down
Surveying the Terrain: The Way Up Is Down, Pt. 2

The way up is out.

You know something’s got to give
A change needs to be made
It’s not just bettering for better’s sake
It’s not sustainable anymore and without change, it will only get worse.

Or

Even though things are good, better is coming sooner than later.
Things are going so well, that space needs to be made for the real growth that is happening.
Like a child outgrowing her shoes or a hermit crab outgrowing its shell, the way up is forcing its way out.

road leading out into the desert

Stress and pressure are powerful motivators for change. Even though stress and pressure are uncomfortable, and even painful, it is not all bad either. The above examples are two ends of a spectrum. These ends represent the need for change due to negative or positive stimuli. Moving toward the middle, the stimuli reduces. It has been said that the only constant in life is change. Even in the middle of the spectrum where motivating stimuli is minimal, change is inevitable.

We all find ourselves somewhere along this spectrum. The thing to do is to get a bird’s eye view of your situation. Where are you along this spectrum? And, if you find yourself somewhere around the middle, are you experiencing a respite, the doldrums, or are you like the frog in the pot, unaware that the temperature is slowly rising?

With last weekend being Easter, I’m reminded of what Jesus said to his disciples during his last supper with them before his passion. “But I tell you the truth, it is to your advantage that I go away; for if I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you; but if I go, I will send Him to you.”  John 16:7 (NASB)  In this Jesus reveals that in order for his disciples to make the greatest impact, he would need to step aside and let them follow the Holy Spirit’s lead, just as he himself had done.

Where do you identify in this story? With Jesus, realizing that he was the bottleneck for his followers’ development as leaders? Or, with the disciples, understanding that growth only comes when we push our limits, explore other paths, and follow the Spirit’s lead (John 16:13)? The way up is out.

As a personal example, my attention to this blog has been intermittent at best. I have been preoccupied, and at times even overwhelmed, by other more pressing things. This has led to a lack of output, which leads to a sense of stagnation. Yet, not a day goes by where I feel I have got to write something. I miss this. I miss writing for you and for me. My heart tells me that in order to get beyond this stuck, plateaued, and stagnate feeling, I need to put myself out there, start writing again, and open myself again to the flow of thought, creativity, composition, and correspondence. The way up is out.

Of course, this is only one of many areas in my life that need me to be brave and find the way out that leads up.

Enacting change doesn’t have to be drastic. The idea I’m trying to share is to be proactive. Evaluate, make a plan, and start. Start small, but start. The key is that the change we make takes us out of our old patterns that weren’t working and onto a new path with new goals and new outcomes. We can allow change to happen to us, or we can gain a bit of perspective and enact the change for ourselves. It’s all up to you, and it’s all unto me. My hope is that as we examine our situation, we find the areas that need change and the pathway out that will eventually lead up.

Grace and peace,
Brook

Surveying the Terrain: The Way Up Is Down, Pt. 2

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In this post I would like to expand the thought process I shared last week. This will be a high-level approach, with not much detail. I hope with this that it will provide an overview that will lead to more in depth exploration and discussion.

The way up is out
The way out is through
The way through is down

Looking out over the Silicon Valley

The way up is out.

Progress. Improvement. Development. Increase.
Not an exhaustive list, but enough to point out that as a species, humans are upwardly focused. This is all good, except when we try to go up with sheer effort. It’s no secret that the greatest gains and largest strides of improvement happen when we think outside of the box or take an outside perspective. To do this involves appreciatively setting aside our accomplishments and trusting the process, even when out looks nothing like up.

The way out is through.

Stepping out is probably the most difficult aspect of this process. It goes against everything in our nature. For the most part, our survival depends on security. Moving outside of our comfort zone challenges the very notion of security. For this very reason, we need to go through this process in order to see security for what it is, what it does, and what it hinders us from doing. Walking through will bring us face to face with our values, passions, commitments, and messages. This will be painful. It may feel like it will never end. Our demons will scream louder than our angels. You may even die to things you never thought we an issue. Just when you think you can’t go through any further, you will find out that you are not alone in this process. The community gained on the journey will make the pain of the process worth every tear.

Looking up at a trail descending to a rocky stream

The way through is down.

We relate the negative with going down, negative thoughts, actions, relationships, and events. The reality, though, is that no one is immune from negativity. The negative provides the opportunity for us to ask questions that can give us a deeper understanding of ourselves, our relationships, and our world. This depth of understanding gives us the foundation to realize a depth of living we never thought possible. Few would say that personal and interpersonal depth is negative or down, rather positive and the source of life’s highlights.

This thought process has come full circle. It gives us a view of the terrain ahead. Having walked through this process a time or two, I don’t wish it upon anyone, but discovering its benefits, I do encourage all who are not willing to settle with whatever the world gives you to embrace this process.

I would appreciate your thoughts.

Grace and peace,
Brook

The Way Up Is Down

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Here is a thought process that I have been kicking around lately.

The way up is out
The way out is through
The way through is down

shadowy sunriseI think this is what 2017 will look like, at least for me. Though this process is counterintuitive, I look forward to embracing it and seeing where it will take me.

I will explore this process here over the next few weeks. I would love to hear your thoughts as well.

Grace and peace,
Brook

Be Born in Us Today

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Impressionist painting of the Nativity

While they were in Bethlehem, the time came for Mary to have her baby. She gave birth to her firstborn child, a son, wrapped him snugly, and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the guestroom.  Luke 2:6-7, CEB

Just as Mary and Joseph cared for Jesus in his humble birthplace, may we too care for Jesus by caring for those closest to us. I pray as well that our reflections on the Nativity story will open our hearts, and our guestrooms, for Jesus to be borne into our daily life experiences.

This reminds me of the last verse of O Little Town of Bethlehem.

O holy Child of Bethlehem
Descend to us, we pray
Cast out our sin and enter in
Be born to us today
We hear the Christmas angels
The great glad tidings tell
O come to us, abide with us
Our Lord Emmanuel

Merry Christmas!

Grace and peace,
Brook

The Long Road to Christmas

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Advent Greetings!
It wasn’t until a few years ago that I realized that the song, The Twelve Days of Christmas, was written about the days of celebration following Christmas, and not Advent, the days leading up to Christmas. This means that the entire Christmas observance could last about six and a half weeks. That’s a long time!

The length of the season seems fitting since the Christmas story contains many journeys and periods of waiting. If we consider Joseph and Mary’s journey to Bethlehem from Nazareth, they traveled just over 100 miles.

The Long Journey to Bethlehem, Luke 2:1-7

In those days Caesar Augustus declared that everyone throughout the empire should be enrolled in the tax lists. This first enrollment occurred when Quirinius governed Syria. Everyone went to their own cities to be enrolled. Since Joseph belonged to David’s house and family line, he went up from the city of Nazareth in Galilee to David’s city, called Bethlehem, in Judea. He went to be enrolled together with Mary, who was promised to him in marriage and who was pregnant. While they were there, the time came for Mary to have her baby. She gave birth to her firstborn child, a son, wrapped him snugly, and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the guestroom.
Luke 2:1-7, CEB

The beauty of the Christmas story is that it’s rooted in the reality of human experience. We can look at the journey Joseph and Mary took and find some parallel in our personal lives. For me, I have been on a long journey with depression. God has helped me to experience the high places and met me in the lowest valleys. Even though I deal with depression daily, the Lord has filled my heart with hope that one day I will walk truly free. The key for me is keeping my heart open, along with my hands and mind, to see Jesus, the promised deliverer, present in my situation through people and practice, family and faithfulness, community and commitment.

The encouragement I have received from the Christmas story and want to share with you is that God is no stranger to our humanity and is not adverse to meeting us where we are right now. Emmanuel, God with us. This is God’s gift to me this Christmas. I pray it is yours as well.

Grace and peace,
Brook

Christmas Candles Aren’t Just Pretty

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Advent Greetings!
As I have been thinking about Christmas this week, the theme of darkness has stayed with me. It’s not something we like to think about when we think about Christmas, but it is definitely a motif in the unfolding narrative of the nativity.

The people living in darkness
have seen a great light;
on those living in the land of the shadow of death
a light has dawned.
Matthew 4:16, NIV

Matthew 4:16, votives

A Christmas tradition is to light candles on an Advent wreath each Sunday of Advent, five candles in all. By progressively lighting candles, the wreath gets brighter. Our anticipation for Christmas also increases. Observing this, I started asking some questions. “Why do we add a candle each week? Why would someone light multiple candles?” The answer that came to me was this, the darker it gets, the more light we need. Today, I found myself needing a bit of light. The most obvious source for me was sharing coffee with a friend.

The Christmas season is full of light giving sources and traditions—Scripture, songs, activities, and gatherings. These “candles” offer us a respite from the darkness of shorter days, busy schedules, incessant advertising, and nagging discontent. My prayer for you is that you would find a source of light, embrace its significance for you, and in turn, share it.

I don’t think my friend knew he was my candle for today, and I don’t think I will know if I become that for someone else. I do know this, though, if we turn to Jesus, the Light of the World, God’s light of love will shine through us whether we realize it or not.

Grace and peace,
Brook